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much a man. But in this moment, he looked so much like the vulnerable child he must
have once been, and she wanted nothing more than to hold him close. Comfort him. She
touched his cheek and miserable blue eyes lifted, met hers, clung.
 Do you want to tell me about them?
He shook his head.
How absurd to feel disappointed. He was obviously wrestling with a personal demon
that she had no right to help him slay. His problem. His life. It shouldn t matter to her.
She d spent eight years convincing herself it didn t matter that he didn t matter. And
look how that turned out. It took only three weeks with him to negate those eight years.
Despite it all, she still loved him. Had never stopped, probably never would and she
could never tell him. The only thing permanent in Jude Wilde s life were those tattoos.
Hanging on to him would be like trying to hang on to a hummingbird as it darted from
flower to flower. Unfair to them both.
On impulse, she set the cell phone on the counter and wound her arms around his
waist, laid her cheek against his chest, and held him. Maybe it could only be for the space
of a heartbeat, but she held on and let herself enjoy it. He returned her embrace hard
and his whole being seemed to shudder. Whether from relief or something else, she
didn t dare guess.
 I sneaked out that night, he murmured into her hair.  The night my parents died.
She squeezed him tighter, but kept her mouth shut. It surprised her that he d confided
even that much and she didn t want to seem like she was pressuring him.
 I wanted nothing more than see Jurassic Park, he continued after a seemingly endless
moment of silence.  I begged them all summer to take me to the theater, but they
wouldn t. Mom said it wasn t a movie for a ten year old. Hell, she wouldn t even let Reece
watch it and he was thirteen. It seemed so important to me at the time. So important.
 One of my friends got it on video for his birthday and a group of us planned to sneak
over to his house later that night to watch it. I d seen Greer sneak out enough times to
know exactly how it was done, so off I went in my dinosaur PJs, ready to get the shit
scared out of me by T-Rex. I never considered what my parents would think when they
came to tuck me in and saw my bed empty, my window open, my shoes and coat still in
my closet.
 They thought someone had taken you, she concluded.
 Yeah. They left Greer at home with Reece and the twins and went to the police. They
filed a report then launched their own search, driving up and down the streets, calling my
name, looking for any signs of me. By that point, I was already back in my room, sound
asleep. Reece found me, tried to get a hold of them to tell them I was all right& but this
was  93. Not everyone had cell phones back then.
He stopped. Libby rubbed her cheek against his chest.  What happened to them?
Jude blew out a long, slow breath.  They stopped at a gas station to fill up before
continuing their search and walked right into an armed robbery. The gunman shot Dad in
the head as he went inside to pay for the gas. Yanked Mom out of the car and shot her
four times. Left her to bleed out in the parking lot and stole the car. She made it to the
hospital before before she died.
Libby blinked back tears and held him tighter, offering the comfort she could.  Did they
catch the guy?
 No, but it didn t matter. There was only one person responsible for their deaths.
 Jude, no 
 I envy you, he said, cutting off her protest. He motioned to the cell phone.  What you
have with your parents. Hell, even the fact that you still have your parents. I envy you. I
always have.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Libby opened her mouth, but after that whooper of a confession, one he hadn t meant to
make, he couldn t stay to hear whatever pity she was about to lay on him. He strode into
the bedroom, needing space from her, but finding the room resonated with her essence.
The faint hint of vanilla in the air from her perfume, her nightshirt folded so neatly on the
end of the made bed. Even as miserable as he felt, he had to smile. Meticulous even
when she d been feeling blue she was his opposite in almost every way. In the rare
occasions when he got mopey, his apartment usually suffered for it.
Jude sat on the edge of the bed and cradled his head in his hands. Part of him wanted
to hate Libby for dragging him though the muck of the past. He never let himself think
about that night but, he supposed, he d never managed to leave it behind him either. It
colored everything he d ever done in his life. And, hell, to this day he couldn t watch
Jurassic Park without bawling like a baby.
Maybe it was time to face it.
The door opened a crack and Libby peeked into the dim room, the light from the [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]